So-ometimes I misgender myself
thanks to brainwashing
So-ometimes I wish I was cis
But what-ifs are not helpful
Gender and I are not friends
Oh no, not friends
But not enemies either cuz
that is too haaaaard
We mostly just side-eye each other
on the bus!
So-ometimes my past is a ghost
and haunts me on the street
making me think I see the old me
but it is not truuuuuue.
So-ometimes I wish I wasn’t
and I could be a squid
a dragon, a mermaid, a gargoyle
because it’s preferable to
being called it
but monsters are called it too
so maybe I will be friends with monsters
instead of being friends with gender
since we mostly just
side-eye each other on the bus!
Okay, I’m trying to figure out what the “opposite of my gender” is.
A cis butch lesbian who rides a motorbike and enjoys vanilla sex?
A macho cis straight man who likes to top in bed?
I dunno, does anyone wanna guess? and I’d love to hear what you think the opposite of your gender is, for all you saturday night tumblr kids who are blogging alone in your bedrooms (me too).
Cute and femme don’t just apply to women, ya’ll.
You can be a furious little genderqueerling and still like things that most people would say are “feminine.” Genderneutral and genderqueer doesn’t need to be “plain” or “masculine” by default, and enjoying or choosing to dress in a way that is seen as feminine or girly isn’t weak or submissive, and anyone who assumes that to be true is a misogynistic piece of shit.
Things that define your gender identity:
- Your feelings, opinions, desires, thoughts, needs, etc
Things that do not define your gender identity:
- The color of your clothes
- The gender of other people who wear clothes like yours
- Whether you sit or stand to pee
- What combination of sexual organs you were born with
- What combination of sexual organs you currently have
- The gender of your romantic partner(s)
- The gender of your sexual partner(s)
- The kinds of sexual activity you enjoy
- Other people’s assumptions
- Other people’s opinions
- I could literally sit here all night and type up this shit
- But I am going to sleep now ok
This is a big deal.
The violinist and I are really fucking struggling to come up with a gender-neutral variation of “fangirl” / “fanboy” and “fan” just doesn’t communicate the intensity of the Violinist’ fanness SO PLEASE PLEASE what do you guys think should be the gender neutral variation?
I feel like surgery is upheld by cis and trans people alike as an avenue to “pass” more as whatever gender you wanna be perceived as. I’ve just had top surgery so I think an unconscious part of me expected people to misgender me less. But when those people are people who’ve known you for years, they still call you by your birth name and fuck up your pronoun.
I just feel really exasperated! Nobody is ever satisfied! And no, I shouldn’t live my gender in hopes of pleasing the cisgender norm, but goddammit, people could at least have the decency of getting my name and pronouns right!Read more
I’ve been doing the readings for my religion class and I realized that gender essentialism does’t just make me sad—
Gender essentialism makes me grieve. It’s the closest word I can find that explains how I feel.
I am not sure how to express this grief except by:
(1) sobbing after I finish the readings
(2) angrily pointing out in class, “I would like to acknowledge that trans people exist!” (correctly guess how many classes I’ve had to say this in and I will dedicate a limerick about gender to you)
(a) make art
(b) drop out of society and become a hermit
(c) cultivate self-approval to develop a sense of not-giving-a-fuck and thereby potentially alleviate some grief?!
Has anyone gone to Dr. Brassard/Dr. Belanger’s clinic for top surgery? I’m having trouble finding results (I’m assuming it’s due to the language barrier, as they are located in Montreal). They are the only surgeon Ontario’s coverage works with, but I’ve seen few results.
It would be great if anyone could point me in the direction of someone who has visited their clinic, even just photos or videos. Feel free to message me rather than reblog this. Anything is appreciated.
Angry transsexual for life.
Maybe I should write a book of angry gender poetry.
Actually that’s a really good idea.
hot pink t-shirts, those dangling diamond earrings I wore to my high school graduation in which I wore a dress, black nylons with roses on them, bow ties, tattoos, glitter, nail polish, sweater vests, fish nets, sadness, eye liner, band t-shirts, button down shirts, joy & struggle, clown noses, pocket watches, ballroom dancing, strap-ons, boxer briefs, fairy tales, open mic nights, solo dance parties at midnight in my bedroom, pins and patches, bookshelves full to the brim, laughter, potlucks, nutella smeared on your mouth, rocks skipped into a river, clear skies from a mountain cliff, mossy rocks, grief, birch trees, crunchy autumn leaves, feather boas, snow shoes, anxious hands, emotional responsibility, used tea bags next to used needles, ladybugs and butterflies, anatomically correct hearts and skulls, not jumping off of metro platforms, accordions, juggling, top surgery, buttons, poetry, chosen name(s), vulnerable storytelling, bathroom graffiti, bagels, dragons, lions, monsters, paint stains, holding hands with someone, $2 books from thrift stores that change your life, being gentle with myself, consent, cozy blankets, suspenders, crepes, homemade scarves from grandmothers, and and and…
(most of this is already true.)