I get really tired of feeling like I have to label myself sometimes.
Don’t want to cuddle with me? Okay. I am glad that you felt like you could articulate that.
Want to have sex with me? Great! Let’s talk about consent. And what we both like to do in bed. Or not in a bed, as the case may be.
Don’t like my gender expression? Too bad.
Want to experiment with gender with or without me? Have fun!
Um. Yeah random thoughts.
Also, henceforth, I am not coming out to my parents as anything at all unless they ask. Coming out is exhausting and hard.
Tarot cards? Nope. Spirituality? Nope. Sex drive levels? Nope. Relationship status? Nope (okay, not unless I want to bring this person to dinner).
My life is mine. Rawr.
Feeling pretty quiet lately—trying to decide where I want to set up boundaries and with who. Testosterone feels like it’s lifted some weird fog off of my brain and I’m able to see things clearer now (not literally). I’ve realized that physical touch is really important to me so I’m trying to figure out how I can break down certain personal walls and navigate affection with certain friends (yo if anyone has tips, they are welcome).
fuckyealiz replied to your post: SERIOUSLYi feel this way about customers when im working. old dudes like to give me a pat on the arm or shoulder and im like, i dont know you or give you permission to touch me. gtfo.WORD. It took me a long time to realize that some of my triggers…
WHOA. Maybe that’s part of why I’m so hesitant about touch. So much non-consensual touch goes on that it just seems normal. I mean, I only really started to learn about how to stick up boundaries this year. And it’s really, really nice when those boundaries are respected.
My two main ones are:
1. Ask if you can touch me. If we have already established a touch-y relationship, 99% of the time you can touch me without asking but if I’m clearly having a bad body day, ask first please.
2. If you’re going to talk about suicide or cutting, preface it with a trigger warning please.
One of my friends was having an off day on Friday and crossed boundary #2. They emailed me an apology the next day (being someone without a phone). I forgave them. I think we’re going to end up talking about it when we next see each other and have a make-up hug.
