I can’t do this on my own.
(This is written from experience of an underworks binder. The majority is, however, applicable to any type of binding)
Advice buying your first binder:
- Ensure you follow the measurement guide.
- If you’re on the border of a size, go for the bigger size.
- Be wary of customs charges (UK -…
- On Friday, I discovered that there is another transguy at my school! And he’s out! Ish. He’s still trying to get everyone to call him by his preferred name, Leo. We’re both really excited to have found each other. He says that when he first say me, he thought I was a guy and then I opened my mouth and he thought nah, they’re trans. Leo knew for sure when I turned around and high-fived him when he said he was going to see a gender therapist in December.
- We searched Montreal’s gender centers today for binders. McGill’s is still undergoing staff changes from last semester and are still not organized so we were unable to get into their storage room so Leo could try on binders. Sigh. Concordia still doesn’t have any.
- I feel like Leo and I found each other at the right time in our lives. He’ll motivate me to come out and be Oliver. I’ll support him and call him Leo and use he/his/him so his friends get it. We can rant and rave and celebrate. We’ve already discussed our dislike of locker rooms and public bathrooms and agreed to have a girly day the days before we start T. (Girly for us transguys. I know you’ve heard me say that I’ll be a feminine male. I’m not there yet.)
- I’m a little more comfortable with being called ‘she’ when I remember to think of it as ‘s/he’.
- I was in Wal-mart this weekend, shopping in the men’s section (‘cuz that’s how I do). Three men were giving me unfriendly looks. I was wearing a red sweater vest, my binder, and tight grey jeans—blurring the lines of gender. I couldn’t tell if they thought I was a gay man or a lesbian. I got the impression that if they were drunk and they came across me on an empty street, I would have gotten beaten up. I was glad that I was in public.
- Cheap Calvin Klein at Costco, kids. I’m so excited. I bought two CK shirts and a CK sweater. CK is my new favourite brand. It makes me feel so dapper because I’m finally getting the masculine wardrobe I want. My mom doesn’t care—as long as I am comfortable. My grandma halfheartedly tried to show me a feminine fake sweater vest. I said no. I only wear real buttons downs with sweaters, grandma.
- I really want Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation by S. Bear Bergman and Kate Bornstein. Hello, Concordia Co-op? I love you but where is my book?
- Does anyone else find human genitalia rather unattractive? Maybe it’s because I’ve never had sex but I really don’t find genitals appealing at all unless hidden by clothes.
- I really hope I am a hairy FtM bear. Who reads stories to their partner while cuddling by the fire. I have my mom’s thick hair so I’m crossing my fingers.
- I told a close gay friend of mine that I was confused about my sexuality and might actually like men more than women. We were messaging back and forth on Facebook and the only thing he said was: homofaggot. What? How is that supportive? I found it terribly negative and even if he isn’t offended by gay slurs, I am when it comes to that one.
I’ve noticed more and more lately that he is very negative and I don’t think he takes my gender issues seriously. It hurts. I want to be friends but if he isn’t going to be supportive…
- Leo introduced me to two friends of his and, saying that he didn’t feel right calling me Beck, asked if he could call me Oliver. I said yes, so now he and his two friends call me by my chosen name. I’m considering telling other friends to start calling me Oliver as well.
- I have a job interview tomorrow. If I get this job, I am going to discuss being transgender with them and ask them to call me Oliver.
Good advice for anyone.
I wish I could figure out how to do this. I was looking at myself in the mirror today, trying on various shirts with my binder and thinking I need a tighter binder. I texted my friend this and she said that perception deception is a dangerous thing. I told her that she was right. Then I walked away from the mirror.
cephalopodadmirer-deactivated20 asked: McGill has a Union for Gender Empowerment? Is this connected to the university?
Yeah! It’s on McTavish street, 4th floor. It’s small but the volunteers are friendly.
Concordia University has 2110 Centre for Gender Advocacy ( http://www.centre2110.org/ ) that is very active within the queer community.
I wore my binder today at school. :D
Nobody commented. It’s a little disappointing because as a human being I wanted it to be noticed but as a gender-bender who gets stared at all the time, it was nice that no one did.
I used the gender-neutral bathroom all day which was easy because I didn’t have any back-to-back classes. If I did, I wouldn’t have time to run all over the school to get to that one bathroom. I don’t mind using the men’s bathrooms but I worry I might see a guy I know there and get questioned… and I have a feeling that it would be very, very awkward. If I went to the woman’s bathroom, I’d probably get kicked out. I’ve been close to that once without my binder so imagine if I was wearing it!
I’d like to wear my binder every day now. My only problem is gym class. I fence. It’s really hot in there. And in fencing, you need to wear protect covering which makes it ever hotter. So there’s a health issue there. I could take it off and change into a sports bra… but I don’t want to wear a sports bra. I guess I ought to compromise? :S
I went to fold my arms over my chest today but then realized that I only did that because I felt self-conscious of my boobs. So then I just folded my hands together. I feel so much better wearing my binder.